Friday, August 29, 2014

Grocery Shopping anyone?

“Good Morning…”
“Good Morning…”
“Are you going to go grocery shopping today?”
“I might!”
“If you don’t then I will”
“No, I don’t want you shopping for groceries. You know  you get so many things that are either not needed or just way too expensive”
“What do you mean?I never do that…”
“Yes you don’t. The 12-pack oatmeal flour is still laying there unopened…”
“Well oatmeal flour is really good for you”
“I am sure it is, but don’t you think it would be better to buy something that we have the remote chance of using…”
“Well, you could use it to replace the wheat flour that you use for making rotis”
“Why don’t you try doing that?”
“I will and I assure you they will be softer and tastier than anything you have ever made or ever tasted”
“I am sure if I ever get to eat them that is.”
“Just around the corner…”
“Yeah, been waiting for that since you decided to go grocery shopping the first time after our marriage!”
“Your exaggerations will one day kill me…”
“I am speaking the truth…”
“and what about the time I made dinner for you…”
“Store bought yogurt and boiled rice does not make a dinner…”
“You are so unappreciative. It’s the thought that counts..”
“Sure. But what about all the stuff you bought to make dinner that day. I had to plan meals around it for weeks…”
“Well, I was planning it. If it was not for the surprise visit from your best friend, I would have made a grand meal…”
“I am sure. There is always something…”
“Well I couldn’t just cook with her waiting alone for you now could I?”
“Of course your couldn’t, Mr.Gentleman that you are…”
“Thank you!”

“Seriously!”
“One simple question and you drag me through all this muck…”
“If I don’t, then you will drag me through never-ending amounts of food I can’t cook or eat…”
“Bah!”

“Bah! it is..”
“And you still haven’t answered my question…”
“which is…”
“…are you going grocery shopping today?”
“That is not a question…”
“What do you mean?”
“I think it is more of an statement”
“?”
“A statement asking me to go to grocery shopping!”
“I never said that…”
“Well you did!”
“Gosh! You do have a knack of morphing my innocent questions to bold statements.”
“Yes being with you for so long has trained me to differentiate between what you are actually saying and what you really mean.”
“Wow you sure are an antaryami!
“With you I am”
“Bah!”
“How many times have you uttered that word in the past few minutes…”
“You should know, you are the know it all after all!”
“20”
“There goes your exaggeration again…!”
“Well if you don’t answer then I shall”

“Even if is wrong…”
“That’s what you think”
“Bah!”
“25…”
“Sheesh”

“That amounts to a bah too!”

“Good Lord!”
“37”
“..ok..ok I give up. Will your highness be kind enough to please tell this mere mortal if she would condescend to go grocery shopping today?”
“…”
“What?”
“…”
“Now what? I think I was being sufficiently polite in asking you the question instead of making it seem like I was making a statement!”
“Well, you were!”
“Do you think you will answer my question…”
“I already did…”

“when?”
“I told you, I might before you got on my back to force me to do it…”
“I never did any sort of that thing…”

“You know exactly what I say when you offer to do the grocery…”

“This is just peachy. You don’t want me to do it and you don’t know when you are going to do it…”
“I never said that. What do you need so bad that you actually want to go grocery shopping”
“Honey…”
“What?”

“Honey as in the real honey, not you!”
“Real honey?”

“The kind that bees make…”

“Why would you need honey?”

“I think we should replace our sugar with honey!”
“…why..what?”

“Sugar is the root cause of all food related evil that exists in this world!”
“Whoa!”
“What?”

“Was this the article you were reading last night…”

“Well so what if I was?”
“I am convinced that we need to replace our sugar intake with honey!”
“OK! So are we supposed to do it like right now..”
“Well, the sooner the better”
“Bah!”
“does the count go up even if you utter the word or does the privilege apply only to me?”
“I am not sure what you are talking about…”
“Oh my God! You who knows what I am thinking don’t know what I am saying…”

“You are insufferable”
“and you are the most wonderful woman in the world!”
“Why, thank you!”
“You are very welcome…”

“...and for saying that I will think about going grocery shopping today!”
“…and not to mention you are the most beautiful woman in the world…”
“ aww shut up!”
“Don’t forget the honey…unheated..unprocessed…organic…”
“BAH SHUT UP!”

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