Best date ever!

 "It has been such a long time since we went out together, just you and me."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what a couple generally do? Go out for dinner or a movie. I think it's called a date."

"What do you mean?"

"I give up. I did not realize you were this hopeless."

"oh come on! All I meant was that we have been going out almost every week. So I am a little surprised when you say that it's been a long time since we went out."

"Are you serious right now?"

"I am."

"You sure this is not your Ray Romano kind of moment where you come out with puerile comedy."

"What do you mean?"
"I mean - have you been daydreaming about us going out on a date or is it your way of saying that you have been going out with my spirit or something..."

"You honestly are telling me that you think we haven't gone out almost every week?"

"I am telling you that I honestly don't remember the last time we have gone out in years..."

"We went out a couple of days ago?"
"You call that going out?"
"We did go out of the house, so yes I do call it going out."

"Going to the store to buy groceries my dear does not constitute going out."

"It doesn't?"

"It doesn't"

"Why not?"

"Because we are going to get stuff that we need to live and that does not mean we are on a date."

"What does being on a date mean?"

"You know to have fun, talk to each other in peace, enjoy some music, some food..."

"We did all that and more!"

"What do you mean?"
"We talked so much during that time..."

"Talking about which flavor and size of tea leaves to get is not exactly having a conversation."

"Expounding on the virtues of Assam tea vs English Tea is a conversation for any day!"

""

"Speechless, aren't you?"
" I am"

"We had conversations about the fresh oranges, the raw papayas, the absence of milk..."

"Yes, the most intellectually stimulating conversation I ever had in my life..."

"Not to mention the lilting music we were dancing and singing to..."

"What do you mean?"
"You know the romantic songs that were playing in the store..."

""

"Speechless again I see..."

""
"Of course you are. We were both dancing to it, having so much fun. It was a song from our favorite movie..."

""

"And as if that is not enough then we follow it up with a meal too."

"You call grabbing a hasty snack because we are ravenously hungry but need to get back home and put away the groceries, a meal?"

"Well, you always like the food."

"It's good food no doubt but calling that a meal is a bit much."
"I think it's a lovely end to an awesome day..."

""

"Best date ever!"

""

"and we have done it practically every week and for every week for the foreseeable future!"

....

Don't change the topic!

She: I should have been either born a man or a dumb woman.

He: ???

She: Well, I have been struggling for the past hour trying to get our middle schooler to understand how to solve inequalities by graphing intersecting planes.

He: Are you sure that is not our high schooler?

She: Don't change the topic.

He: Well, I do have a hard time understanding how struggling with trigonometry wants you to be reborn?

She: It's Algebra...not trigonometry.

He: Don't change the topic!

She: I meant that if I were a man then I would also be cooly watching TV like you are and if I were a dumb woman I would not be trying to get these concepts into the head of a child who seems to have taken after the man of the family.

He: Well, that would have made you a smart woman, not a dumb one!

She: Are you saying I am dumb?

He: I never said that.

She: Well, you definitely seem to be implying it.

He: I am doing nothing of that sort. But I wonder if you are saying I am useless?

She: Yes

He: WHAT?

She: That's exactly what I am implying.

He: What do you mean by that?

She: Well, what do you do except put food on the table.

He: Well, that is like asking Oxygen, what else do you do other than supporting life?

She: To that, Oxygen can answer, I help with combustion; I protect the Earth from Sun's harmful rays; I mix with Hydrogen to form water...

He: Don't change the topic!

She: For once I don't mind changing the topic.

He: Well, I do!

She: Ok, so what do you want to say about the topic.

He: Well, it's not like I haven't tried to teach the kids. But you are so hoity-toity that you can't really have me teach them my way. You have to butt in and force your way of teaching down my throat.

She: That's not called 'my' way of teaching. That's called the right way of teaching.

He: What do you mean?

She: Well, to give you a small example:  a+b whole squared is not a-squared + b-squared.

He: Of course, it is not.

She: How come you were teaching it to our kindergartener last week?

He: I was coming to the 2ab part of it.

She: You were not!

He: I was too.

She: You stopped at a-squared + b-squared.

He: I merely paused

She: A pause does not take 5 minutes.

He: I had to take an important phone call.

She: by the end of which he had finished his problems with that formula.

He: You did not give me a chance to correct it. You jumped in and took over.

She: What else was I supposed to do? Wait for you to finish the call 30 minutes later.

He: I was going to be done in like 2 mins, but when I saw that Xena had taken over, I continued with the phone call.

She: If you were serious about teaching, you would not take a phone call in the midst of a formula.

He: It was my mother, I had to take it.

She: Of course!
He: Don't change the topic.

She: Don't worry! The topic is still - I want to be either born a man or a dumb woman in my next life.